• Release year: 1985
• Director: Toyoo Ashida.
• Producers: David Del Rio, Hiroshi Katô, Mitsuhisa Koeda, Carl Macek, Yukio Nagasaki, and Yutaka Takahashi.
• Screenplay by: Yasushi Hirano.
• Art Director: Satoshi Matsudaira.
• Music by: Tetsuya Komuro.

Shotgun Commentary: the ultimate stand-off between sexism and imagination, a bloody battle with an unclear winner.

Review

Vampire Hunter D is the type of film that, personally, feels like a test to my abilities as a reviewer. The type of content that you try very hard to evaluate fairly despite it going against everything you believe in… like most Zack Snyder movies.

Don’t get your knickers in a twist

This feature in particular does not hide away from what it is. In fact, you are slapped so hard with its core assets in the first sequence, that you’ll be able to feel the sting in your face days later. The aforementioned sequence consists of a really young girl, potentially a teenager, but it might just be the traditional squeaky voice of all women in anime, riding a horse in a field… Wearing a T-shirt, a thick belt, and white knickers. You might not have ridden a horse before, so take this critic’s word for it, riding in your knickers? Big no-no.

While you are wondering whether you’re just being prejudiced and this is not incel material, but merely the result of previous circumstances that are yet to be explained, this teen dismounts her horse and gets ready to defeat a hideous beast. A beast that, like most do, plays possum to then eat the horse before the pantless teen puts it down. Right after, a very old-looking vampire bites the pantless teen because… he can.

This opening leaves you wondering whether the imagination displayed with the monster and the fight is actually worth the shameless objectification of a woman who looks like a minor. The answer should be pretty clear, but if this content exists, maybe it is not so for everyone.

It bears saying, that indeed, there are no previous circumstances for the teen to be pantless, and she shall remain so until the very end, with a couple of exceptions: a one-minute scene wearing a dress, and a couple of pointless shots of her naked body in a shower. It is quite annoying to feel like the prude police, but in this movie it is completely impossible to ignore the obvious.

Facepalming to the top

And speaking of animator’s kinks that we didn’t need to know, it is time to talk about the hero of this circus: D (Kaneto Shiozawa/Michael McConnohie). Also following a long-standing tradition, this monster hunter is monstrously huge, creating a Wednesday/Lurch dynamic (The Addams Family, 1964-1966) where the size difference is almost as exaggerated as the age gap.

Still, the creator of this film is a helpless romantic, and still tries to make the chemistry work. How?, you might be wondering. Easy, by making her as submissive and compliant as… well, no woman ever; and him, emotionally constipated and potentially deadly as the dhampir he is. Smell that? Yeah, it’s the toxicity that this relationship oozes.

Crazy cool

Enough about 80s animators’ projections, let’s focus now on their actual imagination, undoubtedly their best quality if one goes by this film alone. In an hour and twenty minutes, not only do you get vampires, dhampirs and metahumans, but also witches, golems, and pretty much all sorts of supernatural lore, mainstream and otherwise. Still, the one being that takes the cake is, without the shadow of a doubt, D’s left hand (Ichirô Nagai/Michael McConnohie).

This character has a few apparitions only, yet it manages to completely stand out and steal the show. For one, it is a talking hand capable of eating too. But if you need more, it is also the most charismatic of all the characters, especially when it decides to call out all the bullsh*t he sees, mostly from D.

All in all, Vampire Hunter D is a very interesting supernatural adventure that could’ve done with a lot less female objectification. Then again, it is not shocking coming from a 80s anime product, but one always expects better regardless. Especially in a film with so much potential.

Thanks to SHUDDER for early access! Vampire Hunter D is now available on SHUDDER, AMC+ and HIDIVE.

Advice to take from this movie:

• Put on some pants if you are going to go horse riding.
• Always double tap if you intend to kill.
• Don’t trust the word of a liar. Obviously.

What’s your take? Have you watched Vampire Hunter D? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message in my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀