- Release year: 2026
- Director: Kirill Sokolov.
- Producers: Dan Kagan, Andy Muschietti, and Barbara Muschietti.
- Screenplay by: Alex Litvak and Kirill Sokolov.
- Cinematography by: Isaac Bauman.
- Music by: Carlos Rafael Rivera.
Synopsis: a woman tries to save her sister from a satanic cult while simultaneously attempting to avoid becoming said cult’s next sacrifice.
Shotgun Commentary: bloody, gory, wacky AF.
Review
They Will Kill You is a horror comedy that takes the premise of Ready or Not (2019) and raises it to a gorier, more surreal level. Whether that works is mostly a matter of taste, but let’s unpack what this movie offers so you can decide if it is worth your time.
The feature follows Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz), a woman in search of her long-lost sister. After a decade in jail, she comes out and disguises herself as a maid-to-be in order to enter her sister’s last known location: a building with ominous satanic depictions on its face. As expected from such a place in a horror movie, everyone in it is absolutely bonkers, and yes, they do celebrate human sacrifices. As a result of this lifestyle, Asia finds herself in a position much like Grace’s in Ready or Not… only her pursuers do get back up after deadly blows.
An acquired taste
The best way to explain this would be to picture a bolder Ready or Not: higher stakes; way more blood—like, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) level of blood, sprays and all; and even darker humour. That being said, this approach does have its downsides, two in particular. For starters, this extreme take on hide and seek is bound to cater to fewer people. Not everyone can appreciate the subtle humour of a rolling eyeball in pursuit, among other madcap gags. Ready or Not does have subtler humour, more based on witty dialogues and life’s ironies and less on guts and violence.
That being said, if you know Beetz, you know what you’re in for. As expected, she delivers a badass performance worth every minute. A quick look at her filmography will tell you all you need to know, and as a fan of hers since 2018’s Deadpool 2, yours truly is happy to report that her talent is still an absolute delight. Beetz has found her niche, and she is bleeding the hell out of it—pun unintended but proudly owned.
Stop searching for the meaning of life
Secondly, the story is…simple. That is, you are not here for that, and if you are, you might want to search for another hide-and-seek horror comedy. The characters do not evolve, they do not change, and they do not learn any lessons whatsoever. There is just enough story to justify the chain of violent events that take place throughout the movie; that is all. No delusions of grandeur, no attempts at looking deep, no pointless excuses.
As expected, nay, demanded, of a film of this particular flavour of horror, the fight choreos are almost as crucial as the presence of the protagonist herself. In that department, you will certainly not find this film lacking. Every fight is unique. Different settings, different weapons, different strategies… You won’t find yourself thinking “they’ve done this already” at any point, which is quite the feat for a film that is 97% fighting.
All in all, They Will Kill You is a straightforward horror comedy. Do you want blood, guts, satisfying female rage, and simple humour? Look no further!
Advice to take from this movie:
- Do proper research before choosing your human sacrifice.
- Don’t sleep in creepy rooms where people are clearly staring at you through the vents.
- To avoid awkward moments, make sure the person you are saving actually wants to be saved.
What’s your take? Have you watched They Will Kill You? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message on my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀