• Release year: 2025
• Directors: Joey De Guzman, Ian Loreños, and Shugo Praico.
• Screenplay by: Alex Castor, Noreen Capili, Onay Sales, John Paul Egalin Abellera, and Gina Marissa Tagasa.
• Cinematography by: Rommel Sales, Mark Tirona, and Mo Zee.
• Music by: Paulo Almaden, Jose Antonio Buencamino, and Mikhail Ali Hooshmand.

Shotgun Commentary: Interesting concept, slow and poor execution.

Review

Shake, Rattle & Roll: Evil Origins is a supernatural horror movie in three parts. Each of them takes place in different periods, but all of them happen around a chest that holds a powerful and evil entity that is trying to get out. With a clear division in three acts, this feature makes it easy to pick favourites.

1775’s diet

The movie begins in 1775, in a convent where the nuns are haunted by an evil presence trying to infiltrate them… or has it already? The lack of certain knowledge makes the rumours spread fast, and with them, the panic. The victims create a vicious circle of fear and power with the entity that will be hard to break.

Despite the fascinating jump scares and creepy twists, the element that stands out the most during this first act is that of the overweight nun. This character proves that absolutely nothing has changed since Friday the 13th Part III (1982). Here we are, over forty years later and still with the same simplistic backwards view of fat people.

The overweight sister brings nothing to the story other than eating things, both edible and non-edible. Her actions respond to the long tradition of fat characters in horror portrayed as slimy people who will eat anything brainlessly because they have the self-control of a seagull spotting a stray chip.

1775 is calling; it wants its stereotypes back

Still, believe it or not, that is the good segment. The second part drops in quality significantly but manages to stay watchable. It follows a group of survivors of a party massacre. They find themselves locked away, which saves their lives when a cult begins to murder everyone at the dance floor. Now, this seems like a really cool premise, and it would have made for the vest segment if it were not for yet another ugly appearance of harmful stereotypes.

The group of survivors in question are formed of a few women who act like hysterical toddlers who need to be constantly aided or guided and a few stoic men who are nothing but calm and collected despite the most horrible circumstances. Yet again, a type of gender dynamic that no one ever has lived or even seen in real life. Men act like they have been trained for survival in that exact situation, to the point that one cannot help but wonder, is this the same species as the man who could not find the big block of cheese in the middle of the fridge a minute ago?

It is hard to describe how hard eyes roll whenever there is a narrative in which women are presented as brainless babies while men are written as if being born with a penis somehow included a full boy scout manual on how to survive in any situation that you have certainly never encountered before. And do not get me started on lazy writing for female villains…

Final thoughts

After narrowly avoiding the writing of a thirty-pages-long rant, it is now time to talk about the third and last section of the feature. A story so overdone and slow that it is honestly hard not to switch off the TV and just go to sleep. After getting in the mood of possessions and pivoting to cult, the introduction of a zombie apocalypse seems… unadvisable. As a viewer, you get in the mood for a specific type of horror, and switching it up to an entirely different subgenre at the very end is a bold but ultimately bad choice. It miraculously manages to tie the whole story together, but at what cost?

All in all, Shake, Rattle & Roll: Evil Origins is a film that seems fun for a bit but soon becomes quite tedious. Like jumping into a pool only to realise you are not swimming in water but in molasses.

Advice to take from this movie:

• It is okay to put your superior in their place if they are overstepping.
• Nobody is born with innate boy scout skills. So do not expect them to have them.
• In case you need to hear it: fat people do more with their lives than eating.

What’s your take? Have you watched Shake, Rattle & Roll: Evil Origins? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message on my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀