• Release year: 2021
• Director: Simon McQuoid.
• Producers: Todd Garner, Simon McQuoid, E. Bennett Walsh, and James Wan.
• Screenplay by: Greg Russo and Dave Callaham.
• Cinematography by: Germain McMicking.
• Music by: Benjamin Wallfisch.

Shotgun Commentary: watchable, but with plenty of room for improvement.

Review

Mortal Kombat was… an experience. As a fan of the 1995 feature, I was more than reticent to give this film a chance and absolutely loathed every second of watching it. Now, after a few years of trying to convince myself that not using the original theme is really not that big of a sin, I have tried again. Surprisingly enough, I did not feel like gauging my eyes out this time around, so… yay?

A series of bad choices

The story follows Cole Young (Lewis Tan), a young boxer who can’t land a punch to save himself yet somehow has been chosen as one of Earth’s defenders for the tournament of Mortal Kombat. With the character and valour of a wet rag, Cole spends most of his time losing fights, calling other people crazy for telling him the truth, and running away from Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim), who shall henceforth be referred to as Bi-Han, because you can’t have nice things, and he can’t either.

Cole’s story is loosely connected to Sub-Z… Bi-Han’s tale as the latter swore to end Scorpion’s lineage, which currently ends in Cole’s daughter. You are probably here to witness a series of face-offs to the death, but surely you’d like some intergenerational drama instead? Whoever thought of this wonderfully meaningless addition really needs to rethink their life choices. No amount of samurai fights is worth the pain of needless expo.

Luckily for you, there is also a little humour to help wash down all the soporific conversations; you can thank Kano (Josh Lawson) for that. The slimy, sexist hunk of a man will be your only source of comedy as you navigate the sea of absurd melodrama in the hopes of reaching the island of Mortal Kombat. So yeah, the plan is not great from the very beginning. Still, humour from the last person you’d ever want to laugh with is not the only upside this movie has to offer.

The saving graces

Accompanying Cole’s dramatics are two side stories that raise the film from an inconsumable piece of garbage to a watchable action flick. The first is Jax’s story. This one is barely developed on screen. Still, it feels infinitely more inspiring and thrilling than anything Cole does in the whole movie. In fact, the only salvageable element about Cole’s existence is his connection to the other secondary plotline: the legend of Scorpion (Hiroyuki Sanada)—or Hanzo Hasashi, as the writers have decided to call him in order to suck any joy that might be left in the room. Sure, Scorpion’s story is cliché, predictable, and simpler than the ECG of a dummy. BUT, it leads to the best duels in the film, so just take the good with the bad.

All in all, Mortal Kombat is not a great remake by any means. Yet it is a watchable action movie with fairly good CGI and a killer frisbee, so there’s that. If you are an action-movie buff or feel like watching a generic movie that won’t test your brain at all, you could do worse than this one.

Advice to take from this movie:

• If snow starts falling down on you alone in the middle of July, RUN.
• Never underestimate the deadly potential of a garden gnome.
• Frisbees can be an acceptable choice of weapon… apparently.

What’s your take? Have you watched Mortal Kombat? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message on my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀