- Release year: 2026
- Director: Jo-Anne Brechin.
- Producers: Lionel Hicks, Steve Jaggi, and Kylie Pascoe.
- Screenplay by: Jo-Anne Brechin and Katharine McPhee.
- Cinematography by: Shing-Fung Cheung.
- Music by: Angela Little.
Synopsis: two girls go on a trip to meet a killer whale and end up getting stalked by it in a ring of rocks in the middle of the sea.
Shotgun Commentary: oddly engaging despite the forced backstory.
Review
Killer Whale is your average summer horror movie of bikinis vs big scary creatures. So yeah, of course you need to watch it, are you kidding?
A series of ridiculous events
The film follows Maddie (Virginia Gardner) and Trish (Mel Jarnson). They are two best friends from childhood who reunite after Maddie loses her boyfriend Chad (Isaac Crawley) to a very well-placed truck. The beginning of the film alone is worth the watch. Picture this:
A woman who presumably takes care of a killer whale in captivity decides to get into its aquarium in the middle of the night. Right after the killer whale has had her baby stolen, of course. It does not take a genius to know that the animal is very likely in distress or, at the very least, confused. Yet she decides that it is a great idea to just go into her aquarium and swim around. The result is exactly what you might expect. Yet, as you are processing her stupidity, you are introduced to yet another situation. One that will blow your mind and make you reconsider what you thought were the limits of human idiocy. Picture this (again):
Maddie is ending her shift at a random roadside diner. Her boyfriend Chad—because of course that’s his name—shows up and gives her a fancy necklace. Right after that romantic moment that is neither relatable nor meaningful, as you don’t know either character, a burglar goes in and robs the place. Maddie wants everything to go smoothly. She doesn’t fight him at all because, let’s be serious, do you want to die over a company that pays you minimum wage?
However, Chad decides that his masculinity would be too irreversibly damaged if he allows another man to steal Maddie’s necklace. Because it is his gift to her, and that is much more important that getting shot and making her lose her hearing even though she is a cello player… *probably the biggest sigh in the history of this website*
Totally worth it
Luckily enough, after ten minutes at most of complete thickness, the movie begins. Distraught Maddie is cheered up by her BFF Trish, who takes her on a tropical trip to drink, be merry, and visit a killer whale in captivity. You know, as BFFs do. Maddie’s lifelong interest in that particular killer whale is about as unexpected and random as the truck she didn’t see coming a year before, but you will sort of roll with it because, at this point, what the hell. Anything to get some killer whale action.
And action you will get. In fact, all the nonsense actually leads to a thoroughly entertaining face-off between Maddie, Trish and the killer whale. For once, the two girls in bikinis actually have basic survival skills past yelling and whining in hopes that a man will hear and save them. There is a surprisingly low amount of complaining, which makes the film look more realistic than your average Piranha 3D (2010). Not to mention that you also don’t have to put up with sexist commentary that makes anyone with two functioning neurones cringe.
All in all, Killer Whale is a great contender for summer entertainment. Granted, the protagonists’ backstory might be silly and ultimately completely irrelevant, but you are not here for the backstory; you are here for the bloody massacre. Do you get blood? Yes. Do you flex your legs inadvertently from time to time because the killer whale’s mouth is way too close to a character’s legs? Also yes. So ultimately, what more can you ask for?
Killer Whale will be available on digital download from 18th May.
Advice to take from this movie:
- If you date a Chad, don’t be surprised when he behaves like a Chad.
- Never give your phone to a friend who clearly does not respect phones.
- If there is a huge killer anything in the water, maybe don’t turn your back on the water?
What’s your take? Have you watched Killer Whale? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message on my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀