- Release year: 2001
- Director: James Isaac.
- Producer: Noel Cunningham.
- Screenplay by: Todd Farmer.
- Cinematography by: Derick V. Underschultz.
- Music by: Harry Manfredini.
Synopsis: a group of scientists from the future find a frozen Jason amidst the rubbles of an abandoned ship in space. He is not as dead as he looks.
Shotgun Commentary: spacexploitation cinema at its best.
Review
Jason X is the result of the sci-fi fever reaching the Friday the 13th saga. Much like Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Jason’s saga also jumped the space wagon in an attempt to attract the millennials. Not gonna lie, this is one of the best instalments of the whole saga.
The X-files
After an intro that feels like Constantine’s (2005) hell has been created with Johnny Mnemonic’s (1995) special effects, the film only gets better. Yes, one might think that had to be the climax for sure, but hell no, it’s just a mild warm-up. The movie soon cuts to a space crew with wild medical instruments and a sex bot turned encyclopaedia. They rescue a frozen woman, who they revive quite quickly, and Jason, who is supposedly very much dead.
If you thought that the 70s films had gratuitous sex, get ready for the 2000s version. A space crew where only men are allowed to wear regular clothes, while women walk around half naked. You know, as you do in the workplace…in space…
If that isn’t ridiculous enough to make you laugh, there’s the two most unprofessional interns to ever intern, two people who, like the most primitive chimpanzee at your nearest zoo, are only driven by the need to heavily pet each other. Are they in the lab next to a corpse? Yes they are. Is the whole crew there, and aware of what they are doing? You betcha! Does that deter them from making out and fingering each other? Not really, no.
Chastity vs puns
Of course, while you are wondering why their professor says nothing about it, you discover that he is actually having a pretty kinky relationship with one of his students. Summarising, it’s more of a brothel than it is a scientific mission. Thankfully, Jason revives soon to put an end to all the nonsense. Jason, puritan moralist that he is, can’t abide by those types of behaviour, so he starts chopping people, much to the delight of the audience. Let’s be honest, at this point, if you don’t expect it, it’s on you.
Cheap simulations and other silver gadgets fill the scene, providing some of the most entertaining bits of the saga. The best of which is a scene of brutal self-awareness on behalf of the franchise. A moment that is worth watching the whole film for.
Of course, there is also a security team, very necessary to protect a bunch of horny teenagers and a slimy professor. Said team looks like an Umbrella squad (Resident Evil, 2002), and dies like them too. But not before delivering an inordinate amount of puns that will have you gagging.
Man, I love robots
Still, the film manages to get more absurd by the minute, to the point where the horrible 2000-coded performances become background noise for a way cooler avalanche of nonsense. An AI robot asking for nipples? You got it. Manly women using cliché, sexist sentences like “you scream like a girl”? Yup. A love story between a man and an AI more meaningful and emotional than Her (2013)? Hell yeah!
Still, none of those beautifully idiotic moments can surpass Jason’s rebirth. For unknown reasons, a system that regenerates bodies and gets them looking like they used to, decides to regenerate Jason into TermiJason: half zombie, half robot. This is, without exaggeration, the most epic moment of the whole franchise, followed closely only by Freddy’s mini-cameo and the sacrifice of Iron Man. You heard right. How do you kill a TermiJason? Get an Iron Man to blast the hell out of him by any means possible.
All in all, Jason X is a most delightful amount of 2000s rubbish to ever exist. It has everything you need for that cringy nostalgia of the decade and more. If you need a film to lift your spirits during movie night, this is a great option, especially for a Friday 13th!
Advice to take from this movie:
- Feeling lonely in space? No problem! Just build a sex bot. But don’t call it a sex bot, people wouldn’t understand, you see…
- No abilities to build a sex bot? Just get naked and find the most gullible member of the crew! Not like you need clothes in space or anything…
- If you find out that you have a killing machine on board, maybe just… get it out of your ship?
What’s your take? Have you watched Jason X? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message in my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀