• Release year: 2025
• Director: Jan-Ole Gerster.
• Producers: Jonas Katzenstein and Maximilian Leo.
• Screenplay by: Jan-Ole Gerster, Blaz Kutin, and Lawrie Doran.
• Cinematography by: Juan Sarmiento G.
• Music by: Dascha Dauenhauer.

Shotgun Commentary: a pointless story disguised as a great mystery. Unavoidable disappointment.

Review

Islands is the type of movie that could’ve been absolutely awesome, but instead chose to be a cheap self-help pamphlet. Why? That is the real mystery.

Imagine thinking carefully about all the clues and misdirections you need to plant in a narrative to make it properly mysterious. And once you’ve gone full Agatha Christie on it, you go, “Meh, never mind”. This film is exactly the result of that intellectual process. A waste of time for both the people involved in its creation and the audience that has the misfortune of watching it.

Anyone who’s read this blog for a while now, knows that no cheap blows are allowed in here. There is a line between not pulling your punches and being deliberately hurtful, and one always strives to stay in the first area. As such, the positives will also be acknowledged. But for now, let’s start by breaking down all the reasons why this feature is an insult to its audiences’ time, which is arguably the most important thing one can mention about it.

The worst choice possible

The big but of this movie lays in the narrative. Not so much in how it is told, which is also slightly faulty, but mostly in the content itself. This paragraph and the next will contain spoilers, so you can skip these two if you want to avoid those. Now let’s get into it: the mystery is no mystery at all. The story builds up slowly to a climax that never comes, evoking the same peeling-your-skin-off frustration of trying to sneeze for five minutes only to come out sneezeless.

There are clues everywhere, suspicious behaviours, sketchy conversations of comments, strange objects… And everything amounts to absolutely nothing, or, to be exact, to the same boring, lame explanation that the lazy cop of the island comes up with from the very beginning. It is so slow and elementary that it is annoying. It’s tries to be “so simple it’s brilliant”, but ends up giving “I gave up halfway through writing the spirit”.

Cut, cut, cut

The disappointment of witnessing the most unsatisfactory ending to a mystery since Glass Onion (2019) is only worsened by the pace of the editing. Terrible as it might sound, this two-hour film could’ve done with a half hour cut. The last half hour, to be exact. What begins as a succession of events leading up to an eerie conclusion, suddenly becomes a strange indie video clip made of “wholesome” sequences that come out of nowhere and bring nothing to the experience other than an irrepressible need to have a nap.

Feelings that were nuanced but beautifully clear thanks to some wonderful acting, are suddenly explained to you like you just regressed into a small child who needs the content to be pre-chewed in order to digest it. The dynamic pace that lulled you into the mystery suddenly becomes stagnant and painful. Not to mention that all the small details you’ve bothered to store in your brain in hopes of figuring out the mystery become completely irrelevant.

Decoding your mother tongue

Luckily, at least one can say that there is a decent cast presenting the train wreck. The acting is on point and the intention is definitely there. This is specially fortunate considering that, on more than one occasion, you will need to rely solely on their expressions to follow the story. Despite the subtitles for the conversations in Spanish, the film is HARD to follow.

At first, you think maybe it is the Spanish accent of some of the actors, but when Sam Riley opens his mouth to emit sounds that could be English, Swahili or a completely made up language, all hope is lost. With time, you learn how to deduce most of what it is said. Eventually, you can even follow the story with little to no problem. Still, when a person who dominates both Spanish and English has a hard time, you know you’ve messed up.

All in all, Islands is a film that had a great thing going until it decided to dim its own light. A carefully crafted story that begins as a masterpiece only to end as a scribble. Watch at your own discretion.

Islands was part of the EIFF 2025 programme. Find all the info here!

Islands is now screening at Leiden International Film Festival in the Netherlands! Screenings on October the 12th, 13th and 15th. Find all the info here!

Advice to take from this movie:

• When someone says, “We’re not fussy”, prepare for them to be the fussiest people you’ve ever met.
• Don’t party with people you don’t like or trust. It can only end in tragedy.
• Pacing is everything in a movie.

What’s your take? Have you watched Islands? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message in my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀