• Release year: 2023
• Director: Pierre Morel.
• Producers: Jacob Lentz, Christopher Milburn, Steve Richards, Renée Tab, and Christopher Tuffin.
• Screenplay by: Jacob Lentz.
• Cinematography by: Thierry Arbogast.
• Music by: Elliot Leung and Geoff Zanelli.

Shotgun Commentary: close to good, but not quite.

Review

Freelance is one of the few John Cena movies you might find tedious even if you are in the mood to watch something stupid. As a person who thoroughly enjoys the silliness of all the movies he acts in, it is sad to say that this one simply does not stick the landing.

The excuse

Mason Pettits (John Cena) felt like something was missing from his life as a lawyer, so he joined the army. Because that’s the obvious thing to do? Apparently, it is, and it works wonders on Mason. He is super happy running around with guns and dragging himself through the mud. So much so that he decides to start a family. You know, as one does when one gets in a life-threatening job. Sadly, the fun is cut short after he loses his unit, which is killed in action. This prompts him to go back to his boring but safe life as lowly lawyer, which, naturally, makes his family life derail entirely… Don’t think too hard about it.

One day, his friend Sebastian (Christian Slater) comes to the rescue. He offers Mason a really sketchy private security gig protecting a journalist, Claire Wellington (Alison Brie). She is going to interview a dictator who also happens to be the man who ordered Mason’s unit to be killed…allegedly. Still, the job offer comes with lots of money and adrenaline, so Mason accepts, which leads to a whole ordeal, as expected.

The puppets

One of the most ridiculously male-written characters of the film is Jenny Pettits (Alice Eve), Mason’s wife. As well as Eve plays the character, its writing is so pitiful and nonsensical that one can’t help but cringe. This is a woman who, in the same conversation, tells her husband to leave, that she’s leaving with their daughter, that his job as a lawyer sucks, that he can’t quit his job and do private security, that he should go do private security, and to stay home and not leave them. Exactly in this order, if my memory serves, and in the span of roughly three minutes. It gets to a point when you begin to wonder if she is a woman or an NPC exclusively designed to guide the protagonist towards his adventure.

This line of writing also explains why Claire, despite being played by one of the funniest actresses in the US, is boring as hell. Any charisma that Brie might have been able to bring into the role gets completely lost in a sea of unremarkable conversations and zero space to develop any sort of personality past the most superficial character creation ever made. Both Brie and Cena are usually wonderful in the comedy genre, so making their dynamic as flat as it is really does take a genius.

Cena isn’t in a much better position either. His character is generic, even by the standards of his usual characters, and there is barely any comedy at all. In fact, this makes Heads of State (2025) look like an Oscar-worthy masterpiece. Is he still likeable? Of course. Does that make the movie any less of a disappointment? Not really, no.

All in all, Freelance is generic to the point of boredom. The leads could’ve delivered something so much better had the writing been half-funny. It has a couple of good moments, but nothing that will make you actually laugh out loud. Overall one of the worst films both Cena and Brie have ever been in.

Advice to take from this movie:

• If you are an indecisive person, think about what you want before trying to communicate it to your partner.
• Sometimes people don’t need help in a fight, but it is still nice to ask.
• For goodness’ sake, get your actors a couple of horse-riding lessons and get rid of the chroma.

What’s your take? Have you watched Freelance? Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or leave a message on my contact page! For more reviews and cinema-related articles, check out the rest of my blog! 😀